.too busy to function.
I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel like all I do is go to school, work and do homework. I hate that feeling. And I cram and cram things into my schedule, but they just won't fit. I'm stressed out, and I feel like I'm dissappointing people and friends, and God. I need a vacation from my life, so I won't have to worry about making enough money at my part time job to pay for rent, school, film, processing film, prints, gas, coffee, food, school supplies, bills, life...............the list just keeps going and going and going and going and GOING!!!! I'm going to go crazy I think. I hate how it seems like some people have it so easy. Like they don't have to worry so much about money and stress, they just have it there, available to them, and other people can work their butt off their whole life and still never seem to even start treading water. Oh well...that's life I guess. That's what goes down. I'm gonna do my very best to live life, not for money, but for living a passionate life, for God. And for the dreams and talents He's given me. I'm going for the gusto....here's what I DREAM of doing!!!!:
1. Become a Godly woman. Someone people can look up to, and seek advice from, someone who lives a passionate and relevant life all for the glory of God. A Proverbs 31 woman.
2. Start my fashion company. reBEL. For too long, I always just dream of doing it. I dream of being the one who's editing and who's designing and doing the layouts, and getting stuff printed. I would love to be my own boss and just have my own fashion line and make a living as an entrepreneur, and I have always been one step behind my head with all of this. I want it to just happen, but it's frustrating trying to put a plan into action, as least one that will end up successful.
3. I want to record more. Ever since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to be a singer/songwriter/"rockstar". haha. I guess you could say that's a pretty HUGE dream...I know, I know...it really is,,,but it's still in me. That one hasn't faded. I've been writing praise songs since I was 6, I'm not about to give it up now. And I'd really like to do something productive with it. I just want to give it all back up to God, because He's the one who lays His words on my heart in the first place.
4. I want to go skydiving. This I guess doesn't really count as a "dream" per se, but I really really want to go skydiving....I have for like 3 years now....so I think this needs to happen next summer!!! YEP!!!!
5. Je voudraise a parle Francaise tres bien. Je voudraise a parle Francaise fluent et ne mal pas.
6. I want to travel the world. I want to visit Italy, Japan, Switzerland, Canada, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Ireland, Germany, India, Nepal, South Korea, Phillippines, New Zealand, Austrailia, Maldives,........SO SO SO SO SO many more...........I want to go EVERYWHERE, and take pictures of everything I see. I want to capture the people, the culture, the faith, the essence of different Countries, and peoples. That would be so amazing!!!!!
7. As much as people don't believe me in my "crazy independent" spirit, I do want to meet "my man" and fall in love and get married and have a family......and I don't want to be some crazy old nun before it all happens.....I'm just waiting for "mr. right"...and all the pressure's on him, because I'm old fashioned and I refuse to make the moves........hahaha!!! I want to get over my stupid insecurities I have in myself and not always end up being "one of the guys".
8. I want to live a life with no regrets. I don't want to live life carefully either. I want to take risks and make mistakes, but I want to learn from my mistakes and not regret making them. I want to live life to the fullest!!!!!
9. I think every kid dreams of becoming a professional athlete. I used to dream of being a gymnast, then I got too tall. Then I wanted to be a dancer; and that dream still hasn't faded away. I love do dance, anytime, anywhere!!!! I don't want to be pro or anything, I think this is just something that I can never get enough of. I could dance all day and all night and still not be sick of it.
10. I dream of making a difference in the snowboard community. I want to show people that snowboardind doesn't have to be all about drinking, smoking weed, and sleeping around. It doesn't have to revolve around the party culture. It really can be about just riding for the fun of it. And I know this is true for a lot of people, but I just get sick of "the scene" that goes with this amazing sport. And I think it can be so much more to so many more.
Well....I'd continue naming off more, but I think you might never read my blog again...hahaha!!!! I always feel better when I get stuff out of my head and onto paper. So I can read and understand where the heck I'm trying to go with my thoughts/dreams. I only hope I've spurred you on to making a list of things you dream of doing. And you should pretty much start doing them....because time always goes by so much faster than we expect it to.......
peace out,
thanks for reading,
In Him,
Sarah
1. Become a Godly woman. Someone people can look up to, and seek advice from, someone who lives a passionate and relevant life all for the glory of God. A Proverbs 31 woman.
2. Start my fashion company. reBEL. For too long, I always just dream of doing it. I dream of being the one who's editing and who's designing and doing the layouts, and getting stuff printed. I would love to be my own boss and just have my own fashion line and make a living as an entrepreneur, and I have always been one step behind my head with all of this. I want it to just happen, but it's frustrating trying to put a plan into action, as least one that will end up successful.
3. I want to record more. Ever since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to be a singer/songwriter/"rockstar". haha. I guess you could say that's a pretty HUGE dream...I know, I know...it really is,,,but it's still in me. That one hasn't faded. I've been writing praise songs since I was 6, I'm not about to give it up now. And I'd really like to do something productive with it. I just want to give it all back up to God, because He's the one who lays His words on my heart in the first place.
4. I want to go skydiving. This I guess doesn't really count as a "dream" per se, but I really really want to go skydiving....I have for like 3 years now....so I think this needs to happen next summer!!! YEP!!!!
5. Je voudraise a parle Francaise tres bien. Je voudraise a parle Francaise fluent et ne mal pas.
6. I want to travel the world. I want to visit Italy, Japan, Switzerland, Canada, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Ireland, Germany, India, Nepal, South Korea, Phillippines, New Zealand, Austrailia, Maldives,........SO SO SO SO SO many more...........I want to go EVERYWHERE, and take pictures of everything I see. I want to capture the people, the culture, the faith, the essence of different Countries, and peoples. That would be so amazing!!!!!
7. As much as people don't believe me in my "crazy independent" spirit, I do want to meet "my man" and fall in love and get married and have a family......and I don't want to be some crazy old nun before it all happens.....I'm just waiting for "mr. right"...and all the pressure's on him, because I'm old fashioned and I refuse to make the moves........hahaha!!! I want to get over my stupid insecurities I have in myself and not always end up being "one of the guys".
8. I want to live a life with no regrets. I don't want to live life carefully either. I want to take risks and make mistakes, but I want to learn from my mistakes and not regret making them. I want to live life to the fullest!!!!!
9. I think every kid dreams of becoming a professional athlete. I used to dream of being a gymnast, then I got too tall. Then I wanted to be a dancer; and that dream still hasn't faded away. I love do dance, anytime, anywhere!!!! I don't want to be pro or anything, I think this is just something that I can never get enough of. I could dance all day and all night and still not be sick of it.
10. I dream of making a difference in the snowboard community. I want to show people that snowboardind doesn't have to be all about drinking, smoking weed, and sleeping around. It doesn't have to revolve around the party culture. It really can be about just riding for the fun of it. And I know this is true for a lot of people, but I just get sick of "the scene" that goes with this amazing sport. And I think it can be so much more to so many more.
Well....I'd continue naming off more, but I think you might never read my blog again...hahaha!!!! I always feel better when I get stuff out of my head and onto paper. So I can read and understand where the heck I'm trying to go with my thoughts/dreams. I only hope I've spurred you on to making a list of things you dream of doing. And you should pretty much start doing them....because time always goes by so much faster than we expect it to.......
peace out,
thanks for reading,
In Him,
Sarah
Comments
oh, and one more dream for you...is to come visit me! haha. maybe in january before school gets nuts again and things have calmed down?
i'm talking to my friend ashley about maybe road tripping down to oregon in may, so when it gets closer to then i'll let you know, haha.
love you lots! we'll chat soon, k?
My name is Karelys Beltran.
Just this morning I came across your myspace page and I fell in love with your worship music and the free spirit in it. It just brought me to my knees in the prescence of the Lord. God used your music this morning to show me something that set me free. By "quincidence" I picked up the book "My Outmost to His Highest," that my friend gave me and read on the page for the day. Your music and the reading set my soul free in a way that only God & I can comprehend.
I read your blog because you sparked my curiosity so much. And oh I love it!
I smiled while I read because I could see myself there all the way, except for the snowboarding part. I dont snowboard, but i'd love to learn.
I know the feeling of being trapped in a wheel as if I was a hamster. And I felt as if your blog was a mirror of my passion for other countries, cultures, photography, and being weary as others seem to have it easy while we work so hard for it. Anyway, you sound like such an amazing person. Hope you have a good day, hope that someday I can get a hold of your CDs and see more of your pictures.
You know, I believe that you ARE going to make a difference in the snowboarding community because you have such a strong desire that God has put in there. The reason why I think your seeds will bear fruit is because Jesus SENT us to make a difference. And it is very different when we go on by ourselves than when we are SENT by someone of authority. He has SENT you and you'll make it. =o)