August 29, 2009

.simple ponderings.

I am always curious as to when certain things are supposed to happen. Is it always simply us who have desires for certain elements to be, but don’t control our own destiny, or is everything truly predestined and we aren’t really given choices in life, rather we simply live and the options and choices as well as conclusions truly fall into place on their own. Is there always a yes and a no, a black and white, or is there ever the grey middle that muddles our drink with more of a diverse option? What to choose, what to choose, do I intentionally choose the road less traveled? Or do I go with the flow of the main stream and float on by with the rest of them? Is one way better than another? Will they both ultimately end up as the roots to my destiny anyhow? Or are the branches and fruit from my tree going to be ruthless and choose where they want to be seeded in and of they’re own time.

In the world we call today, timing is everything. In a glimpse, what’s here today, is gone tomorrow. It’s best to take the opportunities given to you in due time, because what if the opportunities you have today are truly gone tomorrow. What hard decisions to make. I believe that we should never hinder ourselves from our full potential. We should never hinder ourselves from what we have to give and receive from other people. Important life lessons, stories, histories, hindsights, and wisdom are all wired into all of us as individuals. We are what we make of ourselves. “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” ~Mahatma Ghandi It’s all about Carpe Diem and seizing the day. We must create for ourselves as well as follow the tracks set in stone for us, our own destiny. A personal journey of expression and vulnerability through our personal strengths, weaknesses and talents. We need to choose to follow hard after our dreams until we create them for ourselves. We must choose to push and never hinder ourselves from the fullest of potential. It’s so important to simply choose to live a strong and succesful and absolutely happy life. Never stagger away from all you truly want to do with your life and never ever let anyone tell you that you can’t do absolutely EVERYTHING you dream of doing AND MORE. It’s important to keep your heart and mind focused on your personal goals, dreams and ambitions and everything ultimately will all fall into just the right spot. Like puzzle pieces finding their jagged edges to connect to to start creating the beautiful picture or vision of our dream for our life. :)

August 22, 2009

.driving mr. randy.

VOTE FOR Driving Mr. Randy on Conan!!!! :) My buddies Donny and Chad put this video together to try to blow Chad's car up (Mr. Randy). Go vote for them.... it's for a good cause... it's OBVIOUS that Chad needs that new Lexus to help with his game in the ladies department..... LOL!!!! Don't take it personal Chad, you know it's true. ;)

August 01, 2009


Why is it that when we least expect it, everything seems to go wrong?
Or is it that everything is just meant to happen in that way because everything is a learning experience? Why do we have to learn over and over from the things that hurt the most? Why do I constantly and unconditionally never feel what I desire to feel from the people so close and yet so drastically far away? Why are we made to desire something that is never ever satisfied? Why do I feel things for those who will never recipricate? Why should I even care anymore? I don't. I can't. I won't. What once was a wall, is now an even higher and stronger one. I am so sick of the dissapointment and the struggle and the battles with self image. I'm over it. I'm over it all. I'm giving up. Since when is singularity a negative? I am free and clear and have no one to call my own, no one to respond to, no one to base my emotions off of or for.... No one to love. Why must I have a constant desire in my heart to have someone to share life and love with when I know it's not meant to be for me. It's never going to happen, I am no longer naive to what I must face alone. The world. My path. My life. solo. I am me, I am weak, and I'm lonely, but living a life for me and putting my best foot forward, making a name for myself and choosing to live in and through all of my passions is far better than dwelling on the inner void I feel and the absolute self hatred my soul posesses towards the face I see in the mirror each day. I have absolute freedom, and yet all I desire is to be tied down... WHY?