.why.
Why is it that when we least expect it, everything seems to go wrong?
Or is it that everything is just meant to happen in that way because everything is a learning experience? Why do we have to learn over and over from the things that hurt the most? Why do I constantly and unconditionally never feel what I desire to feel from the people so close and yet so drastically far away? Why are we made to desire something that is never ever satisfied? Why do I feel things for those who will never recipricate? Why should I even care anymore? I don't. I can't. I won't. What once was a wall, is now an even higher and stronger one. I am so sick of the dissapointment and the struggle and the battles with self image. I'm over it. I'm over it all. I'm giving up. Since when is singularity a negative? I am free and clear and have no one to call my own, no one to respond to, no one to base my emotions off of or for.... No one to love. Why must I have a constant desire in my heart to have someone to share life and love with when I know it's not meant to be for me. It's never going to happen, I am no longer naive to what I must face alone. The world. My path. My life. solo. I am me, I am weak, and I'm lonely, but living a life for me and putting my best foot forward, making a name for myself and choosing to live in and through all of my passions is far better than dwelling on the inner void I feel and the absolute self hatred my soul posesses towards the face I see in the mirror each day. I have absolute freedom, and yet all I desire is to be tied down... WHY?
Or is it that everything is just meant to happen in that way because everything is a learning experience? Why do we have to learn over and over from the things that hurt the most? Why do I constantly and unconditionally never feel what I desire to feel from the people so close and yet so drastically far away? Why are we made to desire something that is never ever satisfied? Why do I feel things for those who will never recipricate? Why should I even care anymore? I don't. I can't. I won't. What once was a wall, is now an even higher and stronger one. I am so sick of the dissapointment and the struggle and the battles with self image. I'm over it. I'm over it all. I'm giving up. Since when is singularity a negative? I am free and clear and have no one to call my own, no one to respond to, no one to base my emotions off of or for.... No one to love. Why must I have a constant desire in my heart to have someone to share life and love with when I know it's not meant to be for me. It's never going to happen, I am no longer naive to what I must face alone. The world. My path. My life. solo. I am me, I am weak, and I'm lonely, but living a life for me and putting my best foot forward, making a name for myself and choosing to live in and through all of my passions is far better than dwelling on the inner void I feel and the absolute self hatred my soul posesses towards the face I see in the mirror each day. I have absolute freedom, and yet all I desire is to be tied down... WHY?
Comments